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» Should I wait? » HELP!!!!
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Tamilla
Newbie
Posts: 2
Registered: 09-03-2004 Location:
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posted on 09-03-2004 at 10:00 |
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HELP!!!!
hi all,
please help me with this serious prolem. I am 20. He was my first and only man. I met this guy on chat, he didnt tell me he is 46 yrs (he lied to me that he was 28). after 1 yrs chatting, he came to my country to meet me. I just felt very disaapointed when i first saw him how ever, just becoz he was truthful (??) during the time we were online so i thought it would be no prolem. we were on a vacation together and from there, i realzied that he was a sickle. he wanted to have sex all the imte and hwen i rejected, he got mad and nearly hit me, and you know what, he asked for all the things that he gave me as gifts back (including an underwears). Does that make you sick hearing it? I was so pissd off but i know he might have killed me if i said i wanted to say bye bye to him by then. I waited till he back to his country and i told him i dont want to be with him anymore. So he started going nut, he called my cell night and days, calling me names and asking for things back. He called my work and tell everyone i was a user and i was a whore. He sent emails to my work as well. He said he will come over soon to my country and go to my work, telling my neighbor to make me shameful. What do i do now to get rid of him, i didnt write him or answer his phone ever since. I AM SO HEADACHE AND STRESSED BECOUSE OF THIS CRAZY PERSON. PLEASE TELL ME WHAT TO DO, PLEASE PLEASE!!!!
thank you so much!!
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Old_Fashioned
Member
Posts: 62
Registered: 07-04-2004 Location: Rhode Island, USA
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posted on 09-04-2004 at 23:45 |
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Oh Boy!!!
I am sorry to hear about this Tamilla. This guy seemed to just want a foreign virgin to mess around with. You said he nearly hit you when you declined him of sex. At the beginning though you said he was my first and only man. Does this mean he had consentual sex with you or was it rape? If it was rape please go to the authorities right away. Maybe something can be done. If he was from the United States, I can possibly look into something over here to see if he can get reprimanded. Such crimes should not go unpunished! My email is Johnnyfife2004@yahoo.com if you want to send me info on this prick so I can let the proper authorities know. This is only of course if he is from the US. Then again, I don't know if this was the case.
When it comes to him talking to the locals, let everybody you know who knows you in good faith in on this ordeal. So in time, when and if he contacts them, they will be prepared. If he still persists, let the authorites know of this prick and possibly go to his country's embassy for some help.
As for him coming back to your country to bother you, there is a chance he might but it does cost money to travel. He may not to waist too much money just for a little revenge unless he is a real nutcase. Try looking into getting yourself some self-defence materials to carry with you at all times for an added sence of security if you still feel threatened. Pepper spray, a small blow horn, and a stun gun is what I recommend all women should carry. You never know when you'll be walking alone for just a minute and a perp comes out after ya.
This should also be a lesson for all women/men who try to meet people off the internet. There are a lot sickos on here who are only up to no good. However, I am not saying that is all you find on here. There are a lot of nice people on here too. Unfortunatly all you hear about is the bad stories. I am not sure how Tamilla met this man in person but the best way to meet people on here is in a public setting. Try to be around a lot of people the first couple times you meet someone. Gradually work yourself up to being alone with the person but still try to keep people with in yelling distance incase your trust has been misplaced.
Again I am sorry to hear about this bad experience Tamilla. Don't give a bad judgement to all guys on here now. Just learn from the mistake and be prepared for next time if you take this route for finding the right guy again. I have met a few couples on here who have met on the web and succeeded in the relationship. So, don't give up hope. And this advice is from a guy too.
;)
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Tamilla
Newbie
Posts: 2
Registered: 09-03-2004 Location:
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posted on 09-08-2004 at 08:46 |
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Old_Fashioned thx a lot for your post. I was really surprised finding your reply to day.
It is very helpful for me because I'm thinking to visit the embassy of his country and ask for help. Unfortunately ( or may be fortunately) he is not from the US ( he is from Greece) so I have to solve this problem myself. But as for now I have understood my mistake... THANK YOU !!!
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Old_Fashioned
Member
Posts: 62
Registered: 07-04-2004 Location: Rhode Island, USA
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posted on 09-08-2004 at 19:20 |
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Your sincerely welcome!;)
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flake
Newbie
Posts: 2
Registered: 07-05-2004 Location:
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posted on 09-10-2004 at 09:39 |
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Find a lawyer or a consultant, what hi is doing is harassment, which is Illegal.
You might be able to get a restraint put on him, by the sounds of this guy, reasoning may be a bit to difficult.
You might get a little money out of it too if your lucky.
Or you could just wait it out, Im sure he will get bored.
Wish you luck.
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freedom
Newbie
Posts: 4
Registered: 04-20-2004 Location:
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posted on 09-10-2004 at 09:44 |
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just a question...
I don't really wanna lecture you so i'll just ask you one question..?? didn't you see his picture before hand? or did he show you a fake?
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pingpong
Newbie
Posts: 3
Registered: 05-28-2004 Location:
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posted on 09-13-2004 at 11:43 |
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well now that you're in this dilemma, i'm guessing that you gave him a lot of information about yourself, number, address and so forth.. well he is really aggrovated because he did lie. he felt like he gave you a lot of material things and because you didn't wanna have sex with him, it was a total waste of his time. however you have done the right thing. there are two ways that you could probably deal with this.
1.. wait him out, he'll probably get tired of wasting his time if you're lucky. you never know how long this could take however.
2.. tell him off. stand up for yourself and tell him that you won't take his shit. tell him that he is a loser and you're glad that you met him in person because you can actually see how ugly he really is in person. there is also negative to this because you said he almost hit you. well whichever way you wanna choose, keep us updated.
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Rkyeun
Junior Member
Posts: 12
Registered: 11-24-2004 Location:
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posted on 11-25-2004 at 06:21 |
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Some of you may have already noted my opinions on how sacred and precious love is. Know now what its abuse means.
His first act was to lie to you about his age. This certainly does not equate to being honest online.
He wanted sex. Sex should never be requested or demanded, only offered and shared. It is the most severe insult possible.
He nearly struck you. The object of his desire, which he should cherish enough to sunder himself and the world in order to defend from the slightest of harm.
And now he states that the time and fond memories you shared online even before his lie was uncovered are not worthy of the gifts, GIFTS, that he gave to express the quality of his love.
And though the coward did not hurt you physically, he instead hurts your mind and your livelihood with this abomination.
There are two things you must do. Offense and Defense. 1) You must provide all evidence and information to your local law enforcement, along with the threats he has made to you. 2) You must take matters to defend yourself. He knows how to reach you, and we must change this. He poses an immediate personal threat, and you must have means of thwarting it. Buy an extra deadbolt for your door, buy some personal defense products. There is a third thing, but it is not required. 3) Post his information. Certainly he has violated his right to privacy by invading yours. There are many here of able will and strength, who would certainly take up the cause for you.
Demons walk this world. There is darkness within all of us, but we contain it and that makes us human. They spread it, they breed it. It is our nature to defeat these demons, to slay them, because their every action is a harm to those we love. Those that cross my path shall not remain.
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